Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize