I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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