So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
