Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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