It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
