Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I want a musical about memes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
