I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
