Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize