woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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