shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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