I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
