it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
