he thought i was a dude.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
