I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
