I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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