whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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