I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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