If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
