I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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