Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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