I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
