At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
