He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
