it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
