So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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