I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
