she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He better not be in your backpack
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
