I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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