Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
