So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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