Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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