I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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