he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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