if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You don't make any sense
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