Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
