Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
