Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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