I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize