i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I smell like Dick and happiness
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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