Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
