Already got asked if we're dating
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
