The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
