This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
