yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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