I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
