I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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