Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
