I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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