Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
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This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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