yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize