I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
