omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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