I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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