I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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