doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
its not stalking. its research.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"