come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.