Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."