butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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