i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
