dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
