nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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