11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
