Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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