Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
