I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
