i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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